I found a journal from two years ago.

The things that were going through my head. The things I was going through.. losing a bestfriend, having a boyfriend, loving my other bestfriend, adapting to my parents lifestyle, desiring so much - it was all so crazy. It's funny to look back on the way I thought and compare it to the way I think now. Some similarities and some differences. The way I spoke back then was so proper, the way I speak now is so in between.. you could hear the proper-ness in my tone, in my writings.That is one thing I do miss, how I used to "sound white". Loll, it gave  me a awkward joy to say slang terms and listen to myself, "like wtf, I don't even sound tight." I'm glad I found that journal and got to skim through it (even though I can't find these old college papers I was really looking for). I hope to move on from the lifestyle I used to live. I was so immature in my relationship because of the fact that I was too mature at such a young age. I should've just enjoyed that shit, instead of trying to perfect it. I'm so old now I could cry.. some people say life starts after high school, but leaving high school fucking scares me and I feel like a big part of me is going to die. I just want to live. I want to go to college. Do swell in college. I want to love. I want to be loved. I want to have a good job, making a nice sum of money. I want to be happy as fuck. I want to keep my two bff's in my life. I want to be super close to my family.. and did I mention I just want to be happy as fuck.Oh, and I want lots of shoes : ) & other girlyy thangs ♥